PLEASE NOTE: If you are struggling with infertility or are currently trying to conceive and you DON'T want to read about my pregnancy (which I totally understand), I recommend starting at the beginning of the blog (March 2010) and reading from there. I find out I'm pregnant in June 2011 so there is a lot of trying to conceive posts in between that you might find funny, helpful or relatable. Wishing you all the luck in the world!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Move On March

Do you ever have one of those days where nothing horrible has happened but everything seems to be going against you? It’s raining, your umbrella breaks while trying to open it, your hair isn’t cooperating, you can’t find your keys, your bra is uncomfortable, you just missed your train/bus/subway, you can’t remember if you put on deodorant, your lunch plans get cancelled, a co-worker won’t stop humming that song you hate, your spouse calls and asks the same question you’ve already answered a hundred times the day before, you get charged twice for your gym membership on your credit card even though you quit two months earlier, you trip on the way home, all your mail are bills, you burn dinner and then as your falling asleep that night, you remember that you forgot to do about 20 different things. Again, nothing like death or dismemberment but still, a considerably bad day. That is exactly how my March has been.

At the very start of the month, I found out that our third IUI failed. This news kicked off a month of many disappointments and challenges. No area was immune to what I can only call crap-luck. Work, home, health, finances, family; you name it and something about it sucked.

I love that I once again tried Weight Watchers this month and in that time, have lost a total of two ounces. My doctor, husband and I all decided to take this month off so I thought it might be a good time to lose some weight. My goal was low. I just wanted to lose 5 pounds. That’s not asking much but yet again, I dieted and nothing came of it. It’s a little game my metabolism and I have been playing for 4 years now. It’s called, "Look at the idiot diet and exercise while we ignore her! Mu-ha-ha-ha!!!".

I had the now infamous cyst that showed up out of nowhere despite being on birth control (both to take this month off and to give my ovaries a rest). This cyst that threatened to throw off the delicate schedule we all had worked out to do our IVF. My day planner is my life and when I put something down in pen, cyst or no cyst, that’s the schedule I’ve set. MY IVF IS IN INK YOU EFFEN’ CYST! IN INK!

Also, our car died. Well, it’s not dead but it’s very much been on life support for the past few months. Anytime you’d turn the key, it would make a noise that was somewhere between an “Oy!” and a smoker’s cough. We decided to donate it as we didn’t think anyone would actually pay for it. I’m certain though that at any moment, the charity we donated the car to will call and say, "Um, thanks for the car. We’re currently using it as a paperweight."

And for whatever reason, we had several relatives who wanted to visit for an abnormally long time this month. Mind you, none of them know what’s going on as Sam and I prefer to keep that private for the time being but still, does anyone really want someone you’re not sleeping with to stay in your home for 7 days straight?

I’m behind on every writing project I have, I’m currently suffering from “The Cold That Ate Chicago”, my therapist confirmed once and for all that I have major issues, my roof is leaking, our fridge door won't close and our neighbors dog seems to have turned against us for no discernable reason. March 2010 is totally kicking my ass.

Today however, I went to the doctor’s and the cyst has in fact gotten smaller so it looks like we’re able to proceed with the IVF. I start the shots tomorrow, April 1st. That’s right... today is the last day of March and to is I say, "Suck it March."

April 1st is a perfectly lovely day to start taking hormone shots, don’t you think? It’s as a fresh start in a new fresh month. I’m hoping that April will wash away the craptastic challenges of March and turn things around. April 2010 will not only be the month I try IVF for the first time but, god willing, it will also be the month we get pregnant once and for all. I’m writing it down in my day planner... in ink.

If for some reason April does not live up to my dreams though, then you should expect a piece in late April called, "Adios April!" You’ve been warned.

1 comment:

RachelP said...

You had a pretty Miserable March for sure. Here's hoping for an Awesome April!

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