So, as of today, I’m 6 weeks pregnant and tomorrow will be my first ultrasound. I had planned on posting a blog entry after the ultrasound tomorrow but then this morning, I received an adorable, thoughtful email from a reader of mine, Linda, asking for an update. Actually, she said she AND her co-workers wanted an update so thank you Linda and co-workers for checking in on me! By the way, maybe it’s just me but I think LINDA AND CO-WORKERS sounds like a modern day office band. Their first hit single could be, “Photocopy My Love”. What? Why are you all looking at me like that?
Last Friday, my beta was up from 220 to 1894 (which I hear was a very good year) and although it’s been hard to resist, I managed to only pee on one stick this week. Any which way, I’m still amazed that I’m pregnant. Me: The person who never got pregnant. It’s still crazy to me.
I’m still working out what to do with this blog in particular as I sincerely don’t feel entirely comfortable talking about my pregnancy when so many have discovered my site because they are themselves in a two week wait. It’s like starting a website about your dating adventures and then you continue writing on the same site about your marriage. It just feels wrong to me on a certain level. I don’t know though – I go back and forth on it constantly.
And speaking of dating, my quest to find an OB/GYN that takes my insurance and deals with High Risk pregnancies has made me feel like I’m back on Match.com looking for some love (although in this case, it’s clinical love). My insurance company referred me to their website but a lot of the information listed are either out of date, or the doctor’s don’t do deliveries anymore or they moved offices entirely. Then, anytime anyone recommends this “amazing” doctor, I call and they don’t take my insurance.
Two days ago, I found a doctor who met all the criteria: Takes my insurance, is an OB/GYN, is actually in the same city as me and specializes in high risk pregnancies. I called, told the nurse that I was thirty-seven, that I got pregnant after my third in vitro and that both of my sister’s pregnancies were difficult ones so I wanted to have a doctor who dealt with high risks. She said they would review my case with the doctor and he would decide whether or not he’d like to take me on as a patient. So, much like my single days, I’m sitting by the phone hoping he’ll call.
It occurred to me after the fact that I should have mentioned I’m also slightly overweight. I said to my husband, “Do you think it’s weird if I call back, ‘Can you also tell the doctor I’m fat?’” Sam talked me out of it. The ONE time I could use being overweight to my advantage and I forgot to mention it! Sh*t!
Meanwhile, I’m learning a few little things that I never knew before about being pregnant (and don’t worry, this list is not a touchy, feely, cutesy poo list).
1. Lately, if I don’t return my mother’s calls in a two hour time span, she freaks out.
2. The smell of flowers apparently makes me nauseous these days. Flowers people. How lame is that? I guess no picnics or botanical garden for me this summer.
3. PMS symptoms and pregnancy symptoms are the same. This is something I was in denial about but now that I’m pregnant, I have to admit it – they so f*cking are. I HATE saying this as I think it prolongs the torture for many of you in the two week wait but sadly, it’s true. Whichever entity came up with that really needs to be bitch slapped.
4. Even though I’ve gotten the elusive “BFP” ('big fat positive' pregnancy test), I still need and deeply appreciate the love and support more than I can say.
5. Finding a good parking spot suddenly makes me emotional.
6. Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten for one second how insanely, unfair and painful struggling with infertility can be.
7. I still get annoyed when I see pregnant women (figure that one out!)
8. Aluminum-free organic deodorant does NOT work. I smell like vanilla sweat these days.
9. I have maintained my sense of humor… but now I do so with slightly bigger boobs.
Overall, it’s still so early and I’m definitely nervous (especially about the sonogram tomorrow) but despite the occasional nausea, feeling tired and my fears of all the things that can go wrong, I feel damn good. I’ve worked hard for this and dreamed of being pregnant my whole life, so even though I can’t predict how this pregnancy is going to go, even though I haven’t found an OB/GYN yet that wants to make a commitment, and even though I stink (thanks to my effort to only use organic products), I am very much in the moment. Today, I’m pregnant and I’m happy. I’m also about to have more macaroni and cheese.
Now, Linda and Co-Workers – Get back to work! :)