PLEASE NOTE: If you are struggling with infertility or are currently trying to conceive and you DON'T want to read about my pregnancy (which I totally understand), I recommend starting at the beginning of the blog (March 2010) and reading from there. I find out I'm pregnant in June 2011 so there is a lot of trying to conceive posts in between that you might find funny, helpful or relatable. Wishing you all the luck in the world!

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Do You Want Fries with Your Infertility? Raising Our Fertility Game in 2018!


Resolve Night of Hope - December 4, 2017
Mother effer. I’m so sorry it took me THIS long to write another post. A lot has been going on… the holidays (which oddly enough kicked my ass more than usual this year), work (which is a high-quality problem – to be busy and in demand but still), and a stomach flu from hell (one positive is it brought me closer to my 2018 weight goal). Such is life and I know many relate. I swear – everyone I know is either sick, getting over something or has made a comment along the lines of, “This year is off to a crazy start.”

I do want to take a moment though to share some recent pieces I’ve either written or have been included in that are fertility related. Each one of these shines a different light on fertility (the cost of IVF, egg freezing, embryo adoption, increasing access to treatment and increasing awareness on infertility). It’s no bullshit when I say I’m so freaking thrilled to be able to be involved with all of the below. Anything and everything to let the fertile world know, “No really though – Let’s talk about fertility, options and coverage.” Here they are:
  • Click HERE to read a Self Magazine interview I'm included in on the high cost of IVF.
  • Click HERE to read a Babble article that I'm quoted in about egg freezing parties.
  • You can read my piece on Pregnantish regarding Embryo Donation by clicking HERE.
  • This is a BLOG I wrote for the Alliance of Fertility Preservation about the press conference that discussed getting closer to IVF and Fertility Preservation coverage in New York.
  • This is Celmatix's pledge to #SaytheFword in 2018 and I'm included in it along with Maven Clinic, Flutter Health, Tia, Fruitful Fertility, and Fairygodboss to break free from stigmas and empower women to talk fertility. Check out the videos by clicking HERE.
Now, I REALLY want to take a moment and talk about Resolve’s Night of Hope because it directly relates to the infertility community. It was an incredibly inspiring evening and one I'll always remember. Truly.

As some of you know, I used to do stand-up comedy for over 12 years (these days, I’m usually in bed by 8:45pm), so when I was told I’d be making a speech at NOH, it was exciting to feel like I may get to relive some of the good ol’ days. Believe it or not though, a room full of reproductive endocrinologists and medical professionals are a way tougher crowd than a drunk bachelorette party.

Side note: Wouldn’t it be great if like those bachelorettes, everyone at Night of Hope also wore penis crowns? Just an idea to consider for next year.

I knew I had to make my speech a little funny with a strong beginning to ensure people would actually listen to me BUT I also wanted to honor the community who A) voted for my blog and B) supported my sad infertile ass when I was deep in the trenches.

This brings me to the word, “Hope”. The award I was accepting was “Blog of Hope”. When you’re trying to conceive and NOT conceiving, the word ‘hope’ isn’t always the most sunshiny and rainbows of words. Because of low moments in my own journey (no more money, only one embryo after having 13 eggs retrieved, husband and I on the verge of killing each other, etc.), hope became an idea that felt cruel.

More than anything though, it’s the community that has shared their feelings on quotes like, “Don’t give up hope!” and “When the world says, “Give up,” Hope whispers, “Try it one more time.” It’s one of the many things I’ve learned from listening to my fellow fertility challenged friends. While some need hope and thrive on having it, there are others who felt like I did in my low moments and could do without it.

Point is (and yes, I swear I have one) that in my speech, it was important to me to acknowledge what I learned: That while I was accepting this award with tremendous pride, I know that my blog may not offer ‘hope’ as it hopefully offers humor.

So, thank YOU for all the lessons, support, love, humor and for so much more than I can ever say. You can watch/listen to my speech (it’s not long) by clicking HERE. I'll also include my thank yous that were in the program at the very bottom of this post.

Annnnd speaking of humor (not to mention the title of this blog post): I saw this PIECE a week or two back on women eating McDonalds Fries DIRECTLY after sex in the hopes that it makes them more fertile.

Yes. Fertility Fries. Who knew?

Instead of smoking a post coital cigarette, you could indulge in the salty joy only French fries can bring. Fry sex… if you will. Or perhaps a “Happy Meal” with an extra special prize.

I read this and was deeply amused… and well, a little pissed too. Why wasn’t this a trend back when I was in the trying to conceive trenches? I would have loved fries with sex. Come to think of it, there were times I would have loved fries during sex. Or on third though, can the sex – just bring on the fries.

Now, I’m not a doctor nor have I played one on television but medically speaking, I’m not sure I fully understand the correlation between deep fried potatoes and sperm fertilizing eggs but yet, this is apparently a new piece of anecdotal advice along with eating pineapple core and/or drinking cough syrup to conceive. In everything I read about this latest trend, I have yet to read the logic… other than maybe women just want to eat some damn fries.

If I can tie all of the above together, it’s January 2018 and it would seem that we’re STILL trying to explain to people that infertility is an actual medical diagnosis. We need to talk about this. We need for insurance companies and our employers to understand this. We also need our well-intentioned friends and family to appreciate that it’s not going to go away by taking a vacation, adopting or eating fries for that matter (although I still want the fries).

And those examples of “just relax” or “just adopt” I know gets used often but you know why? BECAUSE PEOPLE STILL KEEP SAYING IT. I remember I had approximately four people tell me, “You’re thinking about it too much. Don’t think about it and you’ll get pregnant.” THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS.

While I believe in doing all you can to lower your stress for health reasons, if you have blocked tubes, a sperm issue or some other physical, medical (there’s that word again) reason you can’t conceive without help, you can “Ommmm, Namaste” all day long and it’s not going to get you pregnant.

If some of the pieces I’ve shared above, including the press conference here in New York that was held last week about creating coverage for those needing IVF and/or fertility preservation due to a cancer diagnosis, at all sets the tone for 2018, then I’m hoping this is THE year we make some headway. Especially at a time (and I’m going to try to be respectful here) where our government seems to have strong opinions on women and fertility. Whether you agree or disagree with their opinions, I can only say that I hope we all lend our voice to the conversation.

So… this is it. First post of 2018. Let’s kick this year in the balls (or ovaries)… and eat fries for the sheer joy of it and not because it’s medicinal.


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