PLEASE NOTE: If you are struggling with infertility or are currently trying to conceive and you DON'T want to read about my pregnancy (which I totally understand), I recommend starting at the beginning of the blog (March 2010) and reading from there. I find out I'm pregnant in June 2011 so there is a lot of trying to conceive posts in between that you might find funny, helpful or relatable. Wishing you all the luck in the world!

TTC Proverbs!

For when you are having fertility issues and trying to conceive, regular proverbs just don't cut it. Here are a few words of wisdom to get you through those dark days.
All's fair in love and fertility

Feed a cold. Starve a polyp.

Enough is enough; unless you're a Duggar.

Bad news travels fast on TTC Chat boards

A sperm in time saves nine

There but for the grace of God, go I...and another pregnant woman with a stroller.

Behind every great man there's a great sperm count

Better never than late

All work and bad morphology makes Jack a dull boy

An infertile and her money are soon parted

To err is human; to fertilize divine

Don't bite the hand that inseminates you

You can lead a sperm to an egg, but you can't make it fertilize

Implantation speaks louder than words

Infertiles of a feather flock together

It ain't over till the fat lady gets a big fat positive

Hell hath no fury like an infertile scorned

Every sonogram tells a story

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we may conceive

If at first you don't succeed, f*ck, f*ck again

The bigger they are, the harder they are.

No news is… another month down the drain.

There's a time and a place for everything, and that time is Cycle Day 10.

If patience is a virtue, then I'm Mother "Freaking" Teresa.

There's no such thing as bad publicity, just negative results.

There's always more fish in the sea...but healthy follicles are in short supply.

Good things come to those who wait... and wait, and wait, and wait.

A good sperm is hard to find

Still mucus run deep

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single reproductive endocrinologist’s appointment

A prenatal vitamin a day keeps the doctor away

Don't count your embryos before they are hatched

A rolling ovary gathers no moss

Seize the egg!

The early bird catches the high beta

Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder

Accidents will happen (and will usually get a woman pregnant).

An infertile in need is an infertile indeed

Another day, another basal temp

Strike while the OPK is hot

That which does not kill sperm, makes it stronger

The bigger they are, the readier they are for an HCG shot

Better the doctor you know than the doctor you don't

Blood is thicker than cervical mucus

Count your follicles

Don't look a uterine polyp in the mouth

Don't put all your eggs in one IVF

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, fertile and wise

Every infertile has her day

Every ovary has a silver lining

Flattery will get you free injectables

He who hesitates misses the ovulation window

If the sperm won't come to the ovary, then the ovary must go to the mountain

If you can't stand the hot flashes, stop taking hormones

Implantation begins at home

It takes two to procreate

It's never too late to get a BFP

Variety is the spice of your sex life

It's no use crying over spilt cervical mucus

It's the early bird that catches the egg

Keep your cervix up

Laugh and the world laughs with you, pee on a stick and you pee alone

Let sleeping cysts lie

Never judge a hysteogram by its cover

Never put off until tomorrow what you can fertilize today

A Uterus is only as strong as its lining

A watched ovulation prediction kit never is positive

Fertility is wasted on the young

No rest for the TTC

Patience is a virtue

People who live in glass houses shouldn't have sex with the lights on

Pregnancy wasn't built in a day

Put your best egg forward

Speak softly and carry cough syrup

Sperm will be sperm

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but baby showers will never hurt me